2019 Cocoa Bash Diary: Glamazon Edition

Fireball and fire-red skin! lol I forgot to reapply sunscreen the day before!

This Cocoa Beach Bash was different from the previous 4 years I attended. Not only was it the first bash I was going to since being single, but the first time at Cocoa without my ex-boyfriend. This was also Dawn's first Cocoa experience, and that was way more exciting!

We prepared so much for our 5 day vacation. To-do lists, video-chat and phone calls were just the beginning. From drinks, to snacks, to making sure we had the right outfits, and having the right cups for the pool, we took time to make sure we'd have everything we needed, and on a budget too. We had our camping chairs for comfy pool side seats, and I even brought a sandwich press for our late night meals. This was our Girls Trip and we ready to have a good time.

Without giving away too much, I have a selected a few interesting memories to share about the bash. Also please note: To respect the privacy of those that attend the events, pictures and certain names are not made public, and only those with permission may be shared. Dawn and I both consent to my pictures being shared on my blog. But remember, with all of my pictures, in all of my posts, they are my property, and may not be shared without my express consent.

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*

Day 1:

The first day I totally misread the itinerary and didn't know we missed dinner. We got out of the pool, dried off, and Dawn went ahead of me to go to the restroom. At just a few steps behind I was approached outside the lobby to go dinner. The guy who stopped me, was very forward and told me he "had" to stop me, to tell me I was gorgeous! Nice guy, but I was really hungry and was not interested. I say thank you, because I'm polite and finally get into the lobby and there's another guy, sitting there, very handsome I may add. He's sitting on a bench and I'm thinking.. maybe he's waiting for dinner to start. So I ask him "Are you in line for dinner?" And that's when I got the bad news.. dinner had been over like 35-45 mins before! I open the door to where dinner is served and it's empty in there! Oh no, hungry fatty here! And then, this handsome guy is literally trying to introduce himself to me, and I am in a hangry-pouty mood, completely ignoring him. He got the vibe that it was my hunger and actually said something like "I probably shouldn't talk to you right now" or "you seem distracted". A few seconds after, Amy (the Bash Host) comes by and he tells her, "hey she missed dinner". Moments later Dawn meets me in the lobby and I break the news that we missed dinner and we start to wait for the elevator. Time to put my sandwich press to good use! Well while Dawn and I were waiting for the elevator, Handsome Guy talked to Amy and she came out with a plate of food for us! She also reminded us to be one time next time, and we were on our way! I remember waiving at my new handsome friend as the elevator door closed ;)

The night time party was Military theme, hosted by TPP and The Bunnies, a party promoter from New York City. They have the best "bunny juice", a drink as potent as it is delicious.

~*~*~*~*~

Day 2:

We actually woke up early enough for breakfast, and after got ready and went to the day-time pool party. I did spend some time floating around with Handsome Guy, and also got my drink on with Dawn and other friends in the pool. The pool is my favorite part of the bash honestly. It's heated and kept clean!

The night time party was "Roaming Room". It's tradition to wear lingerie or pj's and well.. Dawn and I had to follow tradition! I wore a super cute pink baby-doll from Torrid. Thank goodness it was lightweight because I got sunburned at the pool earlier.

Room roaming is always fun. This years themes included a Speakeasy, Principal's Office, a Mad Scientist, Moroccan Nights and so many more. Everyone always puts so much effort!

I run into a guy who is oh so fine, and actually taller than me, and I tell myself I'm going to make a new friend. Let's call him Lobster, not in any way romantically for you Friends fan, but because when I struck up the courage to talk to him, our conversation was mostly about Aloe and our mutual sunburns. And I, being a humanitarian, selflessly volunteered to apply Aloe to his burnt shoulders. Hey someone had to ;)

~*~*~*~*~

Day 3:

Day time pool party was always a blast, music blaring, drinks flowing, friends laughing, a great time!

Dawn and I would sit outside on our room balcony, chill, relax, have a drink. We had the perfect view of people coming in and out of the lobby, as well as a great pool view too. This night when I saw some friends walking towards the party, I told my friend to yell "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair" and when she did I whipped my hair over the balcony. lol I jokingly call myself the Puerto Rican Rapunzel :) Well, my hair must've looked extra long because it got another gentlemen's attention and the rest of the night I was known as Rapunzel.

Puerto Rican Rapunzel :))

Fast forwarding to the evening party, which was "Pretty in Pink" theme. I wore a dress that on a average height woman would have been a short dress, but for me was like a long blouse, and just so I didn't have to worry about sitting "like a lady" I wear it with white shorts underneath.

A staple at the Cocoa Bash is "Sole-man". Sole-man passes out mini bottles of booze during the day time pool parties, and he also offers foot massages. Now, for years, I have witnessed his foot massaging skills. Ladies love Sole-man, and he proudly wears his t-shirt with "Big Girl Test" and "Big Girl Approved" and he is! I decided to take a break from the party and sit outside in the lobby like many others. I sit down next to a woman getting her feet massaged, and it didn't take much convincing, based on her reaction, to let Sole-man massage my feet. lol I have always been super shy about my feet, they are big, get sweaty, and my heels crack. Honestly, my is ex is the only man I've ever let touch my feet. But Sole-man was perfectly okay with my feet, and he made me feel comfortable and was a total gentleman! Big girl, definitely approved!

This is the only day filled with "drama", but thankfully didn't end that way.

There I was, sitting on the couch in a euphoric stage, eyes closed, enjoying my massage. I could hear a woman (who I am purposely not naming) talking to a man to the right of me. Saying things like "This b*tch, broke up with her boyfriend and she's already here with another guy". I'm thinking "Oh shade, who's she talking about?", so I open my eyes and look over.. and she's looking dead at me! I look at her and say "Are you talking sh*t about me, and I'm sitting right here?". She smiles and I guess didn't hear me. So I close my eyes again. I wasn't wearing my glasses this night, so I feel like my hearing was even better, because I could hear her crystal clear. She continued "she's here with a new guy" and "I can't even get a man". I open my eyes, look over.. now mind you, she's standing 3 maybe 4 feet away. I make sure to talk a little louder and repeat "Are you talking sh*t about, I'm sitting right here?!?!?" She get's a little closer and had the nerve to say "Oh, I was just telling him how beautiful you are". I respond with "Really? Because in all that sh*t you talked I didn't hear the words 'she's beautiful'". She looks behind her to the guy she was talking to, to back her up, but he's conveniently disappeared.

I snap back letting her know I could hear every word, and that she could at least, if she's going to talk trash about me.. not do it within earshot. After trying to lie her way out, she finally said "It's just I've been single for 10 years". I tell her how I'm not at the bash with anyone, and that she doesn't know me, or my life. How just because she's seen me once a year, for the last few years, doesn't mean she knows anything about me. Her and I have never had any kind of conversation before! And here she is judging me because I broke up with my ex and she saw me hugging a guy at the pool! And then she said something I wasn't expecting.. "It's just that I... I was jealous". She was jealous?!? WTF? Jealous? Of me? Wow.

This woman, physically is the opposite of me. In every way. Someone you wouldn't think was jealous of a 6 ft 500lbs+ woman. These are my assumptions, but I bet she could fly anywhere she wanted and not have to buy two seats. I'm sure she doesn't use a seat belt extender in her car. I'm sure she could "squeeze" on an elevator without anyone making a face. I'm sure she could sit in a booth at a restaurant with a fixed table. I'm sure she could blend in with any crowd. And I'm pretty sure she's never experienced someone secretly taking pictures of her just because of the way she looked. And SHE, was jealous of ME. I wanted to laugh, and also kind of celebrate. She was projecting her insecurities on me. Because let me tell you, it's not the first time and it won't be the last time, that someone you wouldn't expect to be jealous of me is. I am confident, and amazing, and I love myself, and people are attracted to me because of all the different things that make me who I am. But all this boosting my ego right now, doesn't make that moment feel better.

In this moment I was upset. Her being jealous of me didn't make her trash talking ok, or acceptable. It just made me more upset, the audacity she had to judge me. I'm not a violent person. I've always been able to restrain myself in that way. I'm a lover and not a fighter. I'm a gentle giant, but still human. And I am a crier. I cry when I get frustrated. And I was not about to let her confuse my tears for weakness. Without shedding a tear, I asked her to back away because she thought it would be a good idea to try to apologize while being 3 inches from my face. So when I politely asked her to back up and she didn't. I raised my voice and assertively said "I need you to back the f*ck off". My voice did stop a few others conversations. Before I walked away.. I turned to her, looked her dead in her eyes, pointed and said "You are a mean person".

I stormed out, in a drama-queen fashion and found Dawn hanging out by the pool with some friends. She could see I was upset, and I interrupted their hang out to vent on my previous "altercation". They all listened to me and comforted me, and the moment passed. I know this is a longer read, but my night got way way better.

A SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket carrying a Dragon cargo ship for NASA happens to be lifting off from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station and we had the best view from Cocoa Beach, considering we were like 5 miles away! It was 10 til 3am and people were gathered on balconies and outside by the pool witnessing the action. Shortly after, we made our way to a row of after parties at the neighboring Standard Rooms within walking distance to bash tower. I meet The Gentleman that noticed my Rapunzel shenanigans earlier and my night ends filled with shots, conversation, laughter and hanging out. I didn't go to bed until 7am!

Check out the NASA video of the launch here:

~*~*~*~*~

Day 4

Super proud of Dawn and I being at the pool early Saturday, considering we got minimal sleep and took no naps ever! Day time Luau pool party is in full effect and we aren't going to let any cloudy sky, or thunderstorms ruin the fun. It did end up raining (I mean hello, we're in Florida ;) ) but not before getting to hear a special performance from Barbie La Vie. She's a hip-hop artist/rapper from New York and she brought it all. It was an awesome live performance and I was jamming the whole time. Make sure to check her out on You Tube.

Enjoying Barbie La Vie's Performance

If you notice. I haven't mentioned Handsome Guy. That's because he doesn't quite make it to the late night parties. He either falls asleep, or leaves early to go to bed. And Lobster, he's found his Lobster (now this is a Friends reference) somewhere between late day 2 or early day 3 and I'm ok with that. :))

Dinner and the night time party are at The Ale House, within walking distance to the hotel. I guess I had a Diva moment, because I was called out for changing my outfits multiple times this night! I changed for dinner (outfit 1), then we went back to the room to chill a little and go back for Rep your Sports Team theme (outfit 2) and after being out a little while, we went back to the room for a drink I think, and I was sweaty I changed again (outfit 3). This night ended super late, more laughter, more memories, and I got to hang out with The Gentleman again too!

~*~*~*~*~

Day 5

Last day is always like Wah Wah, you've partied the night before and really don't want to check out. I always recommend staying another night. While Dawn and I roomed together until this day, I actually was staying an extra day. I was rooming the last day with my sister, so I still had to go through the motions of checking out and moving to my sister's room.

Later this afternoon, while attempting to take a final swim with some friends, Love Bugs swarmed the pool and hotel by the thousands. Like a scene from Birds. While it was truly horrifying, I was grateful these love bugs waited until the bash had officially ended.

This was also 5 de Mayo, and my sister and I and a friend went and got Mexican food down the road from the hotel. I made sure to have a Margarita too. lol

This evening was spent on my sister's balcony, with some friends, and lots of laughter! It was also an early night, and I was in bed by like 10:30pm!

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*

My Cocoa experience was filled with lots of laughter, very minimal tears, and lots of great memories. Every year I've gone, I've made new friends and can't wait to go back.

The lady that was talking crap about me? The next time I saw her I paid her no mind, and she didn't seem to act like she even remembered the day before. Life moved on.

The falcon rocket launch? Was so awesome, I have a video for my personal collection, but nothing like being their in that moment.

Handsome Guy? We exchanged numbers, and messaged a little after the bash. Nothing ever came of it though. If you're trying to get to know me better, I need constant attention, and the stars just didn't align.

The Gentleman? We chose not to exchange numbers and left it to the stars.

And our Girls Trip? An epic success! While this is a long post and I wrote a lot about our trip, there's so many mini memories we made. From the drive down, to dancing in the pool, to enjoying our ocean view from our balcony, I so glad I got to experience every moment. Dawn and I are already planning 2020! Maybe we'll see you there?

Until next Cocoa, and on to the next adventure!

xoxo,

Tiana

The Glamazons